God Who Sees
Recovering from Church HurtBy Karyssa A. Allen and Talitha Summers
Who Sees Me? Recovering From Church Hurt
Church wounds come in many forms: judgment, gossip, manipulation, hypocrisy, and abuse, to name a few. If your relationship with God suffered at the hands of God’s people, please first allow us to express that we are so, so sorry. Jesus called the church to represent Him on earth, but Christians too often fall short. It breaks our hearts that those claiming Christ have harmed you. We invite your mourning, anger, confusion, grief, and doubt. When a body part experiences an injury, it often requires time and isolation before re-engaging the life it had before. The same is true of our hearts and souls—and the more severe the injury, the lengthier the recovery.
We, too, know the pain of encountering God’s broken people, and one brave woman in the Bible also knew it all too well.
Hagar lived as a slave. Originally from Egypt, she followed her master Abraham and mistress Sarah far from her home. One day, her mistress told her to sleep with her master so she could have a child for them. In that culture, Hagar had no choice but to submit to her mistress’ orders and the violation from the old man. She soon became pregnant. After this, conflict rose between her and Sarah such that her mistress began to mistreat her–with Abraham’s blessing no less. Hagar, still pregnant, ran away into the wilderness.
There, in the wilderness, an angel from God came to her. The angel told her that while she must go back to her mistress for a time, she should name her son “Ishmael,” which means “God hears.” Hagar lifted her face and said,
“I have seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:3
Perhaps your own story echoes Hagar’s. God chose Abraham and Sarah as a vehicle for blessing for the whole world, and yet they took His promises into their own hands and caused the suffering of someone they were supposed to bless. Perhaps church leaders in your life have gone against God’s will and sinned against you. Perhaps you too desire to run away. If your story sounds something like this, Hagar has something to share with you.
God sees you.
Hagar experienced abuse at the hands of people who followed God. Yet, it appears that Hagar recognized that the true God did not speak to her like her slave masters. When the angel from God talked to her, Hagar did not hide in fear or attack in anger. Instead, she listened.
Perhaps no one in the church, maybe no one anywhere, sees the wounds inflicted on us. But God does. God sees our every wound, our every scar, and our every pain. He desires to be our safe place.
Yahweh forever remains the God who sees. Lift your eyes to His gentle face.
God weeps with you.
If you choose to look at God, you will see the same God who told our sister Hagar through the angel that He saw her misery.
When Hagar grieved in the wilderness, God sought her out. Our pain, grief, anger, fury, and hopelessness do not scare God. In those incredibly painful moments, he doesn’t flee. He draws near. He speaks to us and ministers to us if we allow Him.
While the church does not always make a safe place for us to grieve because of the human brokenness that exists there, God provides a safe haven. Always.
Cry in his embrace. Here, you are seen and safe.
God fights for you.
Just like Abraham, Christians are not God; they sin and may not even realize it. God did not tell Abraham to have a child with another woman, and yet, under the pressures they faced, he and Sarah determined to make their own way forward. When Abraham and Sarah sinned against Hagar, they sinned against God.
God allows painful things to happen in this sinful world. Though His heart breaks when His children sin against one another, He waits to pour out His justice so that more people have the time and opportunity to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:8–9).
Even as Hepatiently holds off His final justice, He works everything out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). In Hagar’s case, because of her time and culture, this meant returning to slavery for a time–a pregnant woman in the wilderness did not stand a chance of surviving. However, once her son grew old enough, God commanded Abraham to let Hagar and her son go. God set Hagar free despite a culture that thought nothing of her.
God wants to set you free, too. He desires good for you. Find your freedom by following Him.
Yet, recognize that healing comes in stages. For you, perhaps the next step towards following God just means lifting your eyes to look at Him like David in Psalm 121. Or maybe like Hagar, your next step simply entails listening to His gentle words. Or it could consist of burying your head in His shoulder and lamenting till no more words fall.
Perhaps the next step for you right now involves reconciling with those who have hurt you. Maybe that simply means following God back to church. Or perhaps the next right step for you requires separation from people who refuse to repent. Maybe that means following God to a different local family of believers.
For certain, only God can make your next right step clear. Lift your eyes to the One who sees you. Weep with Him. Follow Him as He fights for you.
People betray you. God never will.
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about the author
Karyssa A. Allen
Karyssa studied at Wheaton College and Dallas Theological Seminary. She is a writer, teacher, and upper school educator who desires to shine the light of Jesus brightly so that more will find their hope in Him.
about the author
Talitha Summers
From the early age of six, Talitha found deep love and grand wonder in her walk with God. She is passionate about walking alongside others toward wholehearted life in Christ. Talitha has a Bachelor of Behavioral Science in Math Education from Hardin-Simmons University. She taught high school math, college readiness, and mentorship for seven years before transitioning to pursue a Master of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary. An avid student of God’s Word, Talitha endeavors to make deep theological and biblical truth accessible to all. Talitha has experience leading teams, shepherding small groups, and teaching. In her spare time Talitha loves watching sports, reading historical fiction, and traveling. She embraces any opportunity to talk mountains, movies or musicals!
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