Even Jesus
Article by Christy Boulware
I recently read a line from Wounded Pastors that hit me hard: “Mary poured out her tears and gave Jesus the strength to face devastation. Even Jesus needed a Mary.”
That quote pierced something deep in me, especially as someone who often pours out for others in leadership and ministry. On The Holy Shift Show Podcast, we talked about the rising loneliness epidemic and how it directly impacts our mental health. This quote gave me language for something I’ve been feeling for a while but hadn’t named. I’ve been empty.
Mary wasn’t just a casual friend of Jesus. She sat at His feet while Martha cooked (Luke 10:38–42). She was the sister of Lazarus, whom Jesus raised from the dead. She knew Him deeply and she showed up boldly. In John 12, Mary anoints Jesus with costly perfume, lets down her hair, and wipes His feet. It was a prophetic act of worship, full of sacrificial love and courage. She crossed boundaries, broke cultural norms, and honored Jesus while others watched in judgment.
She showed up without being asked.
That image haunted me during a recent hospital visit with my dad. After seeing him wheeled out of heart surgery, I walked the halls alone, flooded with fear. A flashback hit me of a friend who once showed up for me during a different medical crisis years ago. We’re no longer close, and in that moment, I felt crushing loneliness. The enemy whispered, “You have no one. You show up for everyone, but who shows up for you?”
I spiraled. Depression hit. But in that low moment, God gently revealed that I wasn’t allowing anyone in. I hadn’t made space for someone to pour into me. And maybe you haven’t either.
We were not meant to walk alone. Even Jesus had a Mary.
But here’s the truth. We can't pour like Mary into everyone, and we’re not supposed to. That’s why I created a “starfish” model to evaluate relationships. In the center is your one, the most intimate person in your life. Then come your 2 to 3 inner circle friends. After that, close friends (4 to 6), then next-level friends (7 to 11), then the crowd, the multitudes, and mentors. Each layer serves a different purpose, and each one helps us love well without burning out.
“We were not meant to walk alone. Even Jesus had a Mary.” - Christy Boulware
Loneliness thrives when we don’t know who belongs where or when we keep everyone at a distance to stay “safe.”
So let me ask:
Who is your Mary?
Who do you need to invite in?
Who are you boldly loving, even if it breaks your comfort zone?
“Loneliness thrives when we don’t know who belongs where or when we keep everyone at a distance to stay ‘safe.’” - Christy Boulware
Boundaries matter, but love like Mary’s is still needed. In a world of heart emojis and “prayer hands,” real presence and real connection is sacred.
Even Jesus needed a Mary. And so do you.
About the Author
Christy Boulware
is a women's ministry leader. She founded and leads the not for profit organization Fearless Unite. She has a deep desire to set as many free from the chains of fear and anxiety as possible, and drastically reduce the alarming statistics of fear and anxiety in the world.
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