The Heartbreak and Liberation of Starting Over

Article by Kat Armstrong

This article was adapted from a recent post on Kat’s blog.

This year, in almost every area of my life, I’ve had to start over.

It’s been wonderful and horrible, painful and liberating, heartbreaking and healing, and all at the same time.

• Seminary. I was a student at Northern Seminary, but switched mid-year to continue pursuing my DMin (NT Context) at Houston Theological Seminary. This meant meeting lots of new colleagues and learning new processes. The Greek equivalency course kicked my butt.
• Podcast. My podcast, Holy Curiosity, used to be produced by Christianity Today, but now I’m partnered with The Center for Women in Leadership for future production. Season 2 is coming, be sure to subscribe.
• Work. I’m in a new role at work, my third role in three years. It’s the hardest one yet.
• Ministry. The non-profit I co-founded 16 years ago has merged with another like-minded organization. This is bittersweet and beautiful. A lot of my identity and ministry experience is wrapped up in the Polished Network’s past, but the future looks bright for the organization and I’m thrilled to watch what God is going to do next.
• Church. And, I’m a member at a new church. My husband answered the call to serve as the senior lead pastor at Christ Fellowship McKinney. This was the big one. If you’ve recently changed churches, you know the ripple effect this on your whole life. We plan to move to McKinney in 6 months. More change is around the corner.

Honestly, any one of these changes could have spun me up into anxious knots, and at times they did. Not because I’m averse to change, I just didn’t have any of these things on my bingo card.

To my shock, all of the changes combined didn’t send me into the fetal position. Instead, they created alignment and congruence. Something I’d been praying for many years. (Note to the prayer warriors out there: Be careful what you ask God for. Because won’t he do it.)

In my case, all the alignment coincided in one calendar year. This, I do not recommend. Zero stars on the timing.

What I can recommend is embracing what change reveals to us about our faith in Christ­­––things we know already about Jesus but might not fully believe until we have the opportunity to move in a different direction. To see from a different angle.

To my shock, all of the changes combined didn’t send me into the fetal position. Instead, they created alignment and congruence.

KAT ARMSTRONG

Although each change in my life was for wildly different reasons, I used this phrase with my friends throughout the year for every single major shift:

I don’t want to leave, but I know I can’t stay.

If you’re facing some big life changes, or you don’t want to leave something but you know you can’t stay, my heart goes out to you. You’ll survive this. I mean, it won’t be easy, but you’ll manage.

God is going to accompany you, comfort you, love you and care for you in ways the precedented times didn’t demand.

If you’re facing some big life changes, or you don’t want to leave something but you know you can’t stay, my heart goes out to you. You’ll survive this. I mean, it won’t be easy, but you’ll manage.

KAT ARMSTRONG

• God will be tender.
• He will be attentive to your needs.
• He’s going to make his presence known in unique ways you least expect.
• He’s going to wow you with his faithfulness.
• He’s got you.
• Don’t let the unsettled feelings rattle your faith.
• God goes with us when we leave.

The hardest part for me has been the residual impact. The cost of obedience you can’t post on socials, the pain in the offering only a few will be privy to, and having to explain why this all mattered so much to me in the first place. You might feel lonely as you process the upheaval. After all, you likely love what you are leaving. Take heart.

• If you’re changing titles, your work doesn’t define you.
• If you’re changing roles, your position is not your identity.
• If you’re changing churches, God will prepare a place for you.
• If you’re changing seminary programs, all the work you’ve done till this point had purpose.

I’ll tell you what Psalm helped me the most through 2024, Psalm 46. I read it in several translations throughout the year and also through Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase, The Message.

Psalm 46

• NRSV
• CSB
• The Message

Psalm 46:1-3 (The Message)

God is a safe place to hide,
    ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
    courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
    the tremors that shift mountains.

    Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
    God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

To everyone processing change, I found great comfort praying Psalm 46 out loud, over and over.

I pray it brings you the courage and strength you need to face this season.

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