EP 16: MAKING FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORING WELL
Christine chats with author Shannan Martin about creating lasting connections by living as “ambassadors of awkwardness.” Together, they explore why “loving our neighbors is not the same as not hating them” and the vital role curiosity, hospitality, and empathy play in neighboring well. Christine gets advice on making friends as the introverted new kid in her forties, and Shannan shares practical tips from her book, Start with Hello, for living less divided and more connected.
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Our Guest
SHANNAN MARTIN
Author of The Ministry of Ordinary Places, Falling Free, and now Start with Hello, Shannan is a speaker and writer who found her voice in the country and her story in the city. Shannan works as a cook at The Window, a local nonprofit dedicated to feeding its community. She, her jail-chaplain husband and their kids live as grateful neighbors in Goshen, Indiana.
NOTE: Featuring a guest, resource, or organization on The Holy Shift does not necessarily constitute a blanket endorsement of their entire body of work.
We’ve highlighted some key points from this episode below. Feel free to share these on your blogs/feeds with proper attribution to the writer/speaker/podcast. Or stay tuned—we will be posting several of these verses and quotes, along with clips from this episode, on our IG page and you can save/share from there.
Scripture
THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN – Luke 10:25-37
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.“
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii e and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
36“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
Quotes
FROM PODCAST
- Our neighbor is one who draws near in mercy. SM
- Community is not a preference. We are hard-wired for it. God intended it this way. CCP
- Neighbor is part of our spiritual DNA. It is how we were created. We were made to know each other and need each other. SM
- Ask for what you need. Offer what you can. SM
- I began to understand that I was allowed to be curious about the people and the lives around me. I didn’t have to feel threatened by our differences. I didn’t have to be afraid of our differences. I could just get to know the people around me as humans, as neighbors. As people on the same patch of earth at the same time. SM
- Practice discernment but don’t participate in the division. CCP
- Just find ways to be human together. SM
SOME OF CHRISTINE’S FAVORITE QUOTES FROM SHANNAN’S BOOK
- We do not grow kinder in empty rooms.
- If we want to know we’re not alone we’re going to have to keep pointing our feet in the direction of each other. We will retrace our steps until we wear down a path between us.
- We don’t pursue connection because we know it will be easy. We pursue connection because we believe it multiplies our possibilities for wholeness.
- We are all a bunch of weirdos…There is no such thing as “normal.” There is no cure for this condition…The feeling we tend to describe as “awkward” usually means uncomfortable, which is another way of saying vulnerable or authentic… Awkwardness is fundamentally part of being human, and it’s time to normalize it… It is not a puzzle that can be solved. If anything, it just needs a new PR campaign, and who better to launch it than us?
Resources
A simple path to a more deeply connected life
You want more. You want to belong to a community that looks out for each other. You believe in your bones we don’t have to live detached, distracted, and divided. The question is, how?
Packed with street-level practices and real-talk storytelling, Start with Hello is your field guide for a life of security, camaraderie, and joy. There is no step too small.
(all descriptions Are written by/linked to Amazon.com or author’s website)
INSPIRATION
A Jesus-Centered Community – From BibleProject
Each story makes a unique claim on Jesus’s identity, about his character, and the kind of communities that Jesus came to create. Jesus has brought together a diverse and complicated group of people around his Kingdom of God announcement. He’s labeled a rebel by the Jewish community, but today we are going to explore the method and mindset that is underneath Jesus’ mission of creating these really unique Kingdom of God communities.
MUSIC
OTHER RELATED RESOURCES
Special thanks to my production team!
- Podcast Editor: Tammy Munson
- Video Editor: Alyssa Bruce
What is most challenging about making friends/neighboring well for you?
