EP 9 : THE TRUTH-LOVE TENSION
If you have a prodigal in your life or are struggling with knowing how to love a difficult person well, this episode is for you! Judy Douglass shares her story of clinging to hope while raising a rebellious child and offers tips on partnering grace with boundaries in any relationship. She and Christine explore the challenge of “speaking the truth in love” and emulating Jesus by living lives that are full of grace AND truth.
If you want to encourage Christine and help other people find this show, please make sure to follow/subscribe and leave a positive review on your streaming platform.
Our Guest
Judy Douglass
Judy’s passion is to encourage God’s children to become all they were created to be and to accomplish all they were created to do. In more than 50 years on staff with Cru/Campus Crusade for Christ, she has done that through writing, editing, and speaking. She partnered with her husband Steve to lead Campus Crusade for 20 years, and focuses on Women’s Resources and leads a ministry to people who love a prodigal. Judy has traveled all over the world to speak and is known for her realness. She resides in Orlando, Florida, with her husband, Steve. They have three children and 10 grandchildren.
NOTE: Featuring a guest, resource, or organization on The Holy Shift does not necessarily constitute a blanket endorsement of their entire body of work.
We’ve highlighted some key points from this episode below. Feel free to share these on your blogs/feeds with proper attribution to the writer/speaker/podcast. Or stay tuned—we will be posting several of these verses and quotes, along with clips from this episode, on our IG page and you can save/share from there.
Summary
- 3:00: Judy shares her story of navigating her son’s trauma and rebellion and how she clung to hope during his wandering years.
- 22:03: Christine and Judy zoom out and explore the necessary partnership (and tension) between grace and boundaries in ALL relationships.
- 34:30: Judy shares some helpful tips for communicating truth with love with the difficult people in our lives. (The referenced resources from her ministry are linked below.)
- 42:47: Judy shares two ways God is turning things upside-down/right-side-up in her life right now: (1) Learning to be grateful for everything and (2) Saying yes to God when He asks her to do hard things.
Scripture
John 1:14: The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
James 2:13 For judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Ephesians 4:15-16, 25, 31-32: Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love… We are part of the same body. Stop lying and start telling each other the truth… Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.
Ephesians 4:15-16, 25-27, 31-32 The Message: God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Quotes
“Grace and truth are partners, not enemies.” Judy Douglass
“Love and mercy and grace are not the absence of boundaries or consequence.” Christine Chandler Prater
“If we will be surrendered to the Lord and filled with the Spirit so He can flow through us, then we have supernatural love available to us.” Judy Douglass
“Boundaries are invitations to a healthier relationship.” Christine Chandler Prater
“Love causes mercy which enables us to live in grace.” Judy Douglass
Resources
According to Dr. Henry Cloud, “Many Christians misunderstand grace, even those who are helping people grow. Usually people think that grace means forgiveness or the absence of condemnation. And the God of grace is the one who forgives. But while forgiveness is an expression of the grace of God, grace is much bigger than just forgiveness…”
Join Boundaries.me to explore courses focusing on faith and how it integrates with psychology, relationships, and mental health. You’ll get to dive further into grace and how attributes of grace like forgiveness, unconditional love, and acceptance, interact with boundaries, which many people often think of as solely self-serving.
Loving a prodigal is a long and desperate journey, filled with fear, worry, anger, and self-recrimination. You wait for the phone call–will it be from jail or the hospital? You plead with your loved one. You search for help. You feel the shame. You cry out to God, “How long, Lord?”
Author Judy Douglass has traveled this road with her own prodigal–reading, learning, praying, and seeking God. Over and over he continued to give her wisdom, he sustained her, he covered her with grace, and he filled her with hope. May you, too, be strengthened and filled with hope as together you discover how God will take you through your own valley.
We would love to hear from you! Do you have a prodigal friend or family member you are praying for? Are there any difficult people in your life that you are struggling to love well?
