EP 6: MISS MISUNDERSTOOD
Christine chats with author Mary DeMuth who shares her story as a survivor of sexual abuse and the heart behind her advocation for women’s stories to be understood accurately and treated redemptively. Mary also helps us explore some women from the Bible that we may have been misjudging and misunderstanding. This episode will help us all ponder the upside-down kingdom teaching that even in our lowest moments, we are known, loved, and understood by God.
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Our Guest
Mary DeMuth
Mary is an author of more than forty books, a podcaster at PRAY EVERY DAY, an artist, and a literary agent with a passion for the Lord. She and her husband, Patrick, have three adult children and reside near Dallas, Texas.
NOW RELEASING APRIL 12TH
In her latest release, The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible: What Their Stories Teach Us About Thriving, popular author, speaker, podcaster, and literary agent DeMuth draws readers in at the very beginning to transparently share her own connection to being misunderstood.
Combining her gift for storytelling, and her scholarly skills, DeMuth looks at the lives of misunderstood biblical women we may have skipped over—women like Eve, Bathsheba, Tamar, The Proverbs 31 Woman, and Mary of Magdala among others, women, not so different from ourselves. What if we could step into the lives of these women and learn something from their stories? What if readers began to gather hope and learn a better way to work through being misunderstood. How would that change women’s lives?
NOTE: Featuring a guest, resource, or organization on The Holy Shift does not necessarily constitute a blanket endorsement of their entire body of work.
We’ve highlighted some key points from this episode below. Feel free to share these on your blogs/feeds with proper attribution to the writer/speaker/podcast. Or stay tuned—we will be posting several of these verses and quotes, along with clips from this episode, on our IG page and you can save/share from there.
Summary
Mary experienced sexual abuse at a very young age and has been working through her healing journey ever since. She emphasized that “an untold story never heals” and while Jesus is the ultimate healer, it is important that we allow light to enter into the darkness so that God can accomplish the important work of healing us.
Mary encountered much resistance throughout her healing journey, including within the church from fellow Christ-followers who challenged and judged her, and it led her to advocate for others who’ve experienced trauma through sharing and writing about her experience and noted how important it is for others to understand the pain of trauma and the journey of healing.
Quoting Dr. Diane Langberg, Ph.D., a Christian psychologist who practices, writes, and speaks about trauma, Mary says, “Trauma is the mission field of our time and if we want to reach the next generation we better understand be better informed about trauma. Everyone’s trauma journey is 100% unique.”
In her newest book, Mary focuses on ten women in the Bible who have been widely misunderstood throughout history, with a particular emphasis on the pain of being misunderstood. She specifically calls out how we can better understand their pain by asking the following questions:
- What does this mean for her story?
- What does her story mean for me?
- What does her story mean for the character of God?
Two particular stories were highlighted – Bathsheba (Old Testament-2 Samuel:11-12 and 1 Kings:1-2) and Phoebe (New Testament-Romans 16:1-2). Bathsheba, the married woman whom King David abused and impregnated, has been labeled by many as a seductress when in all likelihood she suffered a great deal of trauma through the loss of both her husband and her newborn baby. Phoebe was a trusted confidante, acknowledged by many to be the person to whom Paul entrusted to deliver the letter of Romans from Corinth to Rome.
Mary highlights an important point from her story and the women of the Bible: When we are misunderstood, it’s not our job to do reputation management; we must surrender to God to do that work.
The podcast closes with an important question: what aspects of the upside-down kingdom are impacting Mary’s life? Mary’s take on that question: she processes trauma through control – lists and rules make her feel safe. However, to grow into the next level in Christ, it’s important to observe the difference between following rules and following Jesus; the safety that we experience from following rules is very different from the “wild abandon” of entrusting our heart to Jesus.
Christine’s take on that question: fear or pride may be the root cause…sometimes they are entangled. Following Jesus is not “safe” by the world’s standards, and there is no room for pride before a Holy God. Surrender and dependence are needed, for good, fruitful faith.
Scripture
2 Samuel 11-12: The Story of David and Bathsheba
Romans 16:1-2 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one who is worthy of honor among God’s people. Help her in whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many, and especially to me.
Quotes
“An untold story never heals.” Mary DeMuth
“Lies, hurt, grief, trauma…it turns toxic in the dark and in the secret…and it’s only when we allow light on that that God can really do his healing.” Christine Chandler Prater
“Trauma is the mission field of our time.” Dr. Diane Langberg
“I need to observe the difference between people following rules and people following Jesus.” Mary DeMuth
“So much of everything is rooted in either fear or pride…Following Jesus is beautiful and he is our refuge, but it is not ‘safe’ by the world’s standards. That’s why it’s an upside-down kingdom. And there is no room for pride before a Holy God. Humility is required. Surrender is required. Dependence is required for good, fruitful faith.” Christine Chandler Prater
Resources
SPECIAL THANKS TO Show Notes Creator: Laurie O’Brien | Podcast Editor: Tammy Munson
Questions or comments about this episode? Contact Christine here or leave a comment below.
